英语字幕来源：www.tvsubtitles.net 字幕翻译与制作：610
消消气
-节哀 -感谢你的到来 - I'm so sorry. - Thank you so much for coming.
-见到你真好 -非常感谢你 - It's so good to see you. - Thank you so much.
谢谢 Thank you.
哦天 谢谢你 Oh, gosh, thank you.
-对你小姨表示哀悼 -是谢丽儿的小姨 - I'm so sorry about your aunt. - It was Cheryl's aunt.
不过还是谢谢你 But thank you.
你是从佛罗里达飞过来的吗？ Did you fly in from Florida?
不 那是她妹妹和男朋友 还有她父母 No, her sister and her sister's boyfriend and her parents flew in.
-我就住这里 -知道了 节哀 - I live here. - I see. Condolences.
-葬礼办的很好 -是 - Nice service. - Yeah.
感谢提供的酒店房间 我很喜欢 Thanks for the hotel room. I appreciate that.
没事 不用谢 Please, my pleasure.
我打算问你来着 冰箱里的东西... I was gonna ask you, is that minibar...
也算在你们请的范围里吗？ Is that included with the whole thing?
-当然 随便拿 -真好 - Sure, whatever you want. - Great.
想要啥自己拿 俩M牌, 三角牌 Help yourself. Some M&Ms, Toblerone.
-我不喝酒 -我说的是巧克力的牌子 - I don't drink. - It's chocolate.
-谢丽儿感觉怎么样 -我觉得她还好 - How's Cheryl holding up? - I think she's okay.
早上把手指戳坏了 在那儿把... Cut my finger this morning trying to put that...
在皮带上打孔的时候 我可能是瘦了咋的 Make a hole in my belt. I must have lost weight or something.
痛死了 It's killing me.
-这一大家人真好 -是啊 都很好 - It's a good family. - Yeah, they're very nice.
-贝基是个好女孩 对吧？ -是的是的 她很讨人喜欢 - Becky's a nice girl, right? - She's a doll, she's really sweet.
你和谢丽儿结婚之前... How long did you date before...
你俩交往了多久？ you and Cheryl got married?
没多久 我们有先做一段时间朋友... Not that long. We were friends for a while and then...
在上床之后 很快就结婚了 after we had intercourse, we got married very quickly.
贝基真的很想结婚 Becky really wants to get married.
我又不太愿意 And I'm not into it.
我们接到电话那天 我刚准备分... And the day that we got the call, I was gonna break up...
我是过去和贝基分手的 I was over there to break up with Becky.
我的天 所以你是飞到那边... Holy cow, so you flew out here...
心里却盘算着马上就自由了 and you wanted to already be free.
我错过了... I missed it...
大概5分钟吧 by five minutes.
我的天 然后你现在又没办法分了 这位刚自杀 My gosh. And then you couldn't do it after she killed herself.
你觉得要等多久... What do you think would be the appropriate time...
才算合适... for somebody to wait till they...
才可以和她分手？ Till I tell her?
如果是她妈去世了 我觉得你至少乖乖坐飞机回去 等个... If it was her mother, I'd ask you to go back on the plane and wait...
大概六天吧 一周 maybe six days, a week.
不过要是小姨呢？又不和你住一起... For an aunt? For an aunt who doesn't even live where you live...
你又不经常见... who you don't see that often...
我觉得你可以等到回家就分 I think you could do it when you get home...
到佛罗里达就可以分了 when you get back to Florida.
我该怎么说？ What should I say?
就告诉她你感到不幸福 这句话很好 很有用 Just tell her you're not happy. That's very good, that works.
我自己没用过 不过我猜很有用 I've never actually used it myself, but I think it works.
-好 -我是有口气吗？你为啥... - Okay. - I've got a breath problem? What...
不是 我感觉有只虫子 有点恶心 No, I thought I saw a bug, that's creepy.
我给你说啊 我们没有过刚才这番谈话 We never had this conversation, by the way.
-当然 -好吧？ - No. - Okay?
我不会说出去的 I won't say anything.
谢谢你的建议 Thanks for your advice.
我觉得我把热气... I think I got the heat...
开小了一点 turned down a bit.
-你和克雷格在聊啥？ -露易斯 - What were you and Craig talking about? - Louise.
-他还好吗？ -还好 - Is he okay? - Yeah.
你要是知道他有多伤心 你会觉得吃惊的 You would be very surprised how broken up he is about this.
-他这几天都很安静 -真贴心 - He's been very quiet for several days. - That's so sweet.
-葬礼办的真好 是吧？ -是 效果很好 - The service was wonderful, wasn't it? - Yeah, it worked out nicely.
谢谢 Thank you.
听着... Listen, you guys...
我想让你们知道 如果你们愿意在家里多待几天... I want you to know if you want to stay a couple of extra days in the house...
也是没关系的 别担心 that's fine, don't worry about it.
你可以在酒店多待一天 You could stay another day in the hotel.
-你真好 是可以待一两个晚上 -一晚上 - That's really nice. Stay there a night or two. - Yeah, one night.
太好了 因为我们都很不喜欢坐飞机 That would be nice, because we hate flying.
-我们也不喜欢坐飞机 -没有人喜欢坐飞机 - Neither of us like to fly. - Yeah, nobody likes to fly.
我甚至不喜欢开车 走路也不喜欢 I don't even like to drive. And I don't like walking.
所以 有的时候 我都不知道有什么交通方式可以... So, occasionally, I don't really know what mode of transportation to...
我不知道我们能怎么办... I'm not sure what we can do about this...
不过我们很沮丧没有一篇讣告 but we were a little upset that there was no obituary.
-我都没想到这事儿 -就像她没有在外面的世界活过一样 - I didn't even think of that. - Like she didn't have a life out here.
讣告能让一切不那么虚妄 It sort of makes it real.
我有个朋友 我经纪人 他的确认识报社的人 My friend, my manager actually knows somebody at the paper.
-我可以帮你们登些东西在报纸上 -那再好不过了 - I could get something in there for you. - That would be so good.
-那真是太好了 -我亲笔写一篇 - That'd be really sweet. - I'll write it myself.
这事儿就包我身上了 别担心 I'll take care of the whole thing. No problem.
如果你想加些什么话 告诉我 我加进去 There's anything you want to add, tell me, I'll get it in.
你不会写的很逗人笑吧？ It's not gonna be funny, is it?
-妈 你说什么呢？ -他就做这个的啊 - Mom, please. - That's what he does.
不会逗人笑的 我会写的有韵味又得体 It's not gonna be funny. It'll be very tasteful and appropriate.
-没问题的 -他是个作家 他啥都能写 - It'll be fine. - He's a writer, he can do anything.
-真是谢谢你 -我们爱你 拉里 - Thank you so much. - We love you, Larry.
我也爱你们 I love you, too.
-抱歉我迟到了 -可以理解 - Sorry I'm late. - It's understandable.
我花了很多功夫才从哀悼者中逃出来 It's very hard to extricate myself from mourners.
-你为啥还系着这个领带？ -我也不知道 - Why are you still wearing the tie? - I don't know.
我要是不用系 就不会再系着了 If I didn't have to, I wouldn't.
反正衣服都穿上了 不如把领带系上凑齐一套 Once you've got the outfit on, you might as well wear it to its completion.
-搭配才好 -"凑齐一套" -是啊 - Maintain the outfit. - "To its completion." -Yeah.
所以你觉得你能处理好这个讣告的事吗？ So you think you can take care of this, this obituary thing?
-已经交代好了 -是吗？ - Done deal. - Really?
4点是截止时间 4:00 is the deadline.
你4点前给我 我传真过去 You get it to me by 4:00 and I'll fax it over to him.
-非常感谢 -没事 - Thanks so much. - No problem.
-你太好了 -小意思 - Very nice of you. - It's my pleasure.
那份讣告可以帮我在家里赚一大笔人情分 That'll score some big points with the family.
-她怎么去世的？ -自杀了 - How did she die? - Killed herself.
-不会吧 -自杀了 - No, she didn't. - Killed herself...
-为啥啊？ -没人知道 她也没有留字条啥的 - Why? - Nobody knows, she didn't leave a note.
-真过分 不是吗？ -非常过分 - That is so rude, isn't that? - That's really rude.
如果你要出门10分钟买盒牛奶... If you leave your house for 10 minutes to get a container of milk...
你都得告诉别人你要去哪儿 you tell somebody where you went.
我去哪儿都会先给我老婆说 I let my wife know before I go anywhere.
她留张字条会死吗？ Would it have killed her to leave a note?
-我也不知道 -我妈和我爸到城里来了 - I don't know. - My mom's in town with my dad.
她过生日 It's her birthday.
考虑到你和他俩那些事儿 你最好... It'd be great, considering what's happened between you and them...
给我妈买个小礼物 if, for my mom's birthday, you got her a little gift.
不管买啥 主要是个表态 Doesn't matter what it is, it's a nice gesture.
真的 It really is.
能推荐买啥吗？ Any ideas?
不能 No.
-好吧 -行 - Okay. - Good.
我们来搞定讣告这事儿吧 你有小本子吗？ Let's do this obituary thing, okay? You have a pad?
-有 我有个小本子 -好的 - Yeah, I got a pad. - Okay.
"露易斯 霍宁 挥霍的霍... "Louise Hoenin, H-O-E-N-l-N...
"挚爱的姐妹... "devoted sister...
"受爱戴的小姨... "beloved aunt...
"死于不愿公开的原因..." "died of undisclosed causes..."
出门到终点 一共只花了我们20分钟 It only took us about 20 minutes, door to door.
-非常顺利 -是啊 很难见到这种情况 - Did very well. - Yeah, that's unusual.
我又不担心 我租的车不限制英里数 I wasn't worried because I have unlimited mileage on my rental car.
-我不在乎要跑多远的路 -那敢情好 - I wouldn't care how long it was. - That's good.
我们很吃惊 高速路看起来和空的一样 We were surprised the freeway was virtually empty.
-真的堵起来的话 有时候几个小时都动不了 -是 - You can really get stuck in traffic for hours. - Yeah.
有时候堵得太厉害 你都几乎不能呼吸 Sometimes it gets so bad you can hardly breathe.
当然 That's for sure.
我很庆幸我不住这儿 I'm glad I don't live here.
-你觉得贝基快下来了吗？ -我猜快了 - Do you think Becky's coming down soon? - I think so.
她一早上都在打电话 和她男朋友 She's been on the phone all morning with her boyfriend...
现在是前男友了 now her ex-boyfriend.
他昨晚和她分手了 He broke up with her last night and...
太糟糕了 是不是 拉里？ Isn't that awful, Larry?
-真会挑时间 难以置信 -不会处事 - What kind of timing... It's unbelievable. - Lousy.
我想我得出去一下 So I think I'm gonna go out for a while.
-可以吗？ -你要去哪儿？ - Is that okay? - Where are you going?
我想打会儿高尔夫 I was thinking about playing some golf.
你开玩笑吗？ Are you joking?
我又帮不上什么忙 我在这儿只能干扰你们 I'm not contributing anything. I'm detracting.
-你能帮忙啊 -我在这儿有害无益 - You are. - I'm a minus here, I'm not a plus.
如果你小姨去世了 我会在你身边支持你的 If your aunt died, I would be right by your side to support you.
如果我小姨自杀了 我会鼓励你出门去 If my aunt killed herself, I'd encourage you to leave the house.
我会说："去，好好玩，你不用待在这儿哀悼。" I'd say, "Go, have some fun. You don't have to stay here and mourn."
-我会留着你哀悼吗？ -你不能去打高尔夫 - I would keep you around to mourn? - You're not going golfing.
我知道我们都会想念露易斯的 I know we're all going to miss Louise.
-是啊 -会非常想念 - Yeah. - Very much so.
但生活得继续 But we have to continue.
-我们还得坚强地活着 -我们还得坚强地活着 - We must go on. - We must go on.
不能继续 Can't go on.
必须得继续 Must go on.
笑声可以治愈悲伤 人要多笑 Laughter is a great healer and you've gotta have a smile.
这样你能渡过许多难关 You get over a lot of things that way.
我曾经在诺曼表弟病房给他演过一段... I once performed for Norman Cousins in his hospital room...
他躺在病床上 让我给他讲个5分钟的单口相声 when he was on his deathbed. He requested me to do five minutes.
结果我讲砸了 他情况反而恶化了... And I bombed, actually, and he got much worse...
看了些马尔克斯兄弟的电影才缓过来 and he had to watch some Marx Brothers movies to actually resuscitate him, but...
马尔克斯兄弟（Marx Brothers）：家族形式的美国喜剧演员 1905-1949年创作的13部长片中，有5部被AFI选入影史喜剧百大榜单
你知道谁最好笑吗？胡萝卜头 你们有看过他吗？ You know who's funny? That Carrot Top. Have you seen that guy?
他有时在《今夜秀》上出现 He comes on The Tonight Show once in a while.
-一头红色的头发 -天呐！ - Big mop of red hair. - My gosh!
-讣告！谁有报纸？ -对 我们都想看看呢 - The obituary! Do we have the paper? - Yeah, we want to look at that.
好吧 我去买份报纸 Okay. I'll go get the paper.
-你别麻烦了 我有车 -你不知道去哪儿买 - No, don't you bother, I've got the car. - You don't even know where it is.
我不限英里数 随便开哪儿都行 I have unlimited mileage, I can drive anywhere.
他知道怎么办 He knows what he's doing.
-就在转角那儿 他能找到的 -我相信他能的 - It's right around the corner, he'll find it. - I'm sure he will.
你就给他点乐趣 让他开一下他那租的车吧 Gives him pleasure to use the rental car anyway.
你可以坐过去一点了 他现在没有坐那儿了 You could move over a little bit now because he's not sitting there anymore.
-给这边腾些空间出来 -没事的 就这样 - Get a little more room here. - That's okay.
-真好吃 -是啊 - These are pretty good. - Yeah.
-我一次能往嘴里塞多少个？ -六个 - How many can I get in my mouth at a time? - Six.
-你猜六个？-五个 - You say six? - Five.
三 四 Three, four.
"看他们对我的桑提诺做了什么 "Look what they did to my Santino.
《教父》梗
"葛雷迪斯 乔治 看看他们做的事" "Gladys, George, look what they did."
-亲爱的 -哦 贝基 - Sugar. - No, Becky.
-哦 -真可怜 - No. - Oh, my gosh.
他怎么说？发生什么了？ What did he say? What happened?
他只是不停重复 什么感到不幸福了这种话 He just kept repeating something about not being happy.
我们本可以一起解决的 We could've worked through that.
-这人好大胆子 -渣男 - The nerve of this guy! - Jerk.
-专挑这个时候 -我刚把我小姨送走啊！ - What kind of timing is this? - I just buried my aunt!
-我知道 -然后他就要和我分手？ - I know. - And he breaks up with me?
-没人会这么做的 -是啊 - You don't do that to somebody. - No.
真糟糕 That's so awful.
-谁知道呢 他本来那么爱我的 -是啊 - I mean, he really loved me. - Yeah.
他有给你说什么吗？ Did he say anything to you?
我知道他很尊敬你 我只是想可能... I know how much he likes you, I just thought maybe...
没有 我们只是... No, we just, you know...
他只是谈到露易斯小姨和酒店零食 he talked about Aunt Louise and the minibar.
零食？ The minibar?
我的天 Oh, gosh.
-真是没道理 -你要去哪儿？ - This is ridiculous. - Where are you going?
我得给杰夫的妈妈买生日礼物 I've got to get a birthday present for Jeff's mother.
我很抱歉 我忘掉了 今天是她生日 我一会儿就回来 抱歉 I'm sorry, I forgot, today's her birthday. I'll be right back, I'm sorry.
哦天呐 好吧 我20分钟内回来 Oh, God, all right, I'm gonna be back in 20 minutes.
大家都别走 好吧？ Everybody stay here, okay?
葛雷迪斯 你不要走 芭芭拉？ 乔治 不要走哈 Gladys, you're here, okay, Barbara? George, right here.
葛雷迪斯 我一会儿就回来 我得去买个生日礼物 Gladys, I'll be right back. I'm just gonna get a birthday present.
-我给你计时着呢 -最多半个小...最多40分钟 - I'm timing you. - Half an hour at... 40 minutes at the most.
45分钟 45 minutes.
我想买一副太阳镜 别人过生 I'd like to buy a pair of sunglasses. It's a birthday present.
-好的 -给我朋友的母亲买的 - Okay. - For my friend's mother.
-我喜欢这副 -这副很不错 - This one I like a lot. - These are great.
伊丽莎白泰勒同款 Elizabeth Taylor wears the exact same glasses.
伊丽莎白泰勒？你开玩笑吧 Elizabeth Taylor? You're kidding!
-我能看下镜子吗？ -这副现在很流行 - Can I see that mirror? - They're very in vogue now.
-是吗？ -千真万确 - They are? - Yeah, absolutely.
-看出为啥了吗？ -是的 我很喜欢 - You see why? - Yeah. I like that.
-我觉得很完美 -漂亮 就它了 - I think they're perfect. - Beautiful. All right.
-真的？ -当然啦 - Really? - Sure, come on.
-让我给你找个镜盒 -我不是瞎逛的 - Let me get you a case. - I don't fool around.
给你拿个镜盒 放张眼镜布 Give you a case, I'll throw in some lens cleaner.
-你想怎么支付？ -信用卡 - How would you like to pay? - Credit card.
-你能用礼品纸包一下吗？ -不行诶 抱歉 我们不负责包装 - Can you gift-wrap these? - No, I'm sorry, we don't wrap.
那我要去哪儿把它包起来呢？ How would one go about getting this gift-wrapped?
-买点包装纸 包起来就是啦 -好吧 我去哪儿买包装纸呢？ - Get some wrapping paper and wrap it. - Okay, where would I get the paper?
嗯 楼上有家卖礼品卡片的 你可以去那儿看看 You know, there's a card store upstairs. You could maybe go there.
-还得买剪刀 是吗？ -呃 - You need a scissor, too, right? - A scissor.
-你得有剪刀才能剪包装纸 对吧？ -对 得剪包装纸 - You need a scissor to cut the paper, right? - To cut the paper, yeah.
-然后还有透明胶 对不？ -对的 - And scotch tape, too, right? - Right.
-这些东西能在他们一家店都买到吗？ -我觉得不行 - Do they sell all that in the same store? - No, I don't believe they do.
你可以试试 You could check.
如果你想包装成礼品 你可能还得要个蝴蝶结 If you're gonna go get that stuff, you might wanna get a bow.
还有小卡片 And a card.
蝴蝶结和小卡片？ A bow and a card?
对 这样她才知道礼物是谁送的 Yeah, so she knows who the gift is from.
我会亲手把礼物送给她 她还能不知道谁送的？ I'm gonna be handing her the gift. Isn't it obvious?
也不一定得买小卡片啦 我就随口一说 You don't have to have a card, I'm just saying.
真是麻烦 又是蝴蝶结 又是卡片的 What a process this is, a bow and a card...
要去哪儿买蝴蝶结和卡片呢？ Where do you get a bow and a card?
和剪刀还有透明胶带在一个地方买吗？ Is that in the same store as the scissor and the scotch tape?
-不 卡片得... -这都几家店了？ - No, the card... - How many stores are we talking about?
我也不知道 I really don't know.
天 这真是麻烦 Boy, this is very complicated.
咋了？ What?
咋了？我们拿到报纸了 你说咋了 What? We got a paper, that's what.
"挚爱的姐妹 受爱戴的小婊"？ "Devoted sister, beloved cunt"?
-你往报纸上这么登？ -这是打印错误 - That's what you put in the paper? - This is a typo.
-应该是"小姨"！ -杰夫交上去之前看过吗？ - It should be "aunt"! - Did Jeff look at this before he turned it in?
报社有编辑的 They have proofreaders at papers!
这个女人一生贞洁 结果死了落个"受爱戴的小婊"？ The woman leads a decent life and this is how she ends up? "Beloved cunt"?
我妻子很生气 My wife is upset.
我真是庆幸墓志铭没有让你负责 I'm just glad you weren't in charge of the headstone!
我写的是"小姨" 不是"小婊"！ I meant "beloved aunt," not "beloved cunt"!
-别狡辩了 -别说了 - Don't keep saying it! - Please.
我很抱歉 我真的很抱歉 I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
是打印错误 你看嘛 只是打印错误！ It's a typo. Don't you see? It's a typo!
打错了 应该是"小姨"！ It's a typo, it's "aunt"!
打扰一下哈 Excuse me for a second.
我刚和克雷格打完电话 我只想看看有人熟悉这句话不 I just got off the phone with Craig, and I wanted see if this rings any bells.
"又不是她妈妈去世了 只是她小姨 "It wasn't her mother who died, it was just her aunt.
"你应该今天就和她分手 "You should break up with her today.
"你看起来不幸福 你应该分手！" "You don't look happy, you should break up!"
-啥？ -他就是这么说的 - What? - That's what he said.
你让克雷格和贝基分手？ Did you tell Craig to break up with Becky?
他找我谈话 我让他等着回到塔拉哈西再说 He talked to me, but I told him to wait till he got back to Tallahassee!
塔拉哈西：佛罗里达州首府
-我没让他昨晚凌晨就行动 -重要吗！ - I didn't say to do it last night at the wake. - Never mind!
-你有什么毛病？ -他反正不是个好人 我算是帮你忙了 - What is the matter with you? - He's a bad guy, I was doing you a favor!
我觉得你应该出去！ I think you should just leave!
你是说今晚上？ You mean for tonight?
至少今晚吧 走吧 At least, please.
我很抱歉 I am sorry.
你知道我怎么才能把这个礼品包起来吗？ You know how I can get this gift-wrapped?
我问你个事儿 Let me ask you something.
怎么才能把这个礼品包起来？ How would one go about getting this gift-wrapped?
-你有包装纸吗？ -没有 我啥都没有 Do you have the paper? - No, I don't have anything.
你得找个文具店 You could probably go to a stationery store.
文具店可以买剪刀和胶带... Stationery store for the scissor and tape...
但是买不到包装纸啊 but you gotta go someplace else for the paper.
-要看你需要哪种纸了 -我哪种都行 - Depending on what kind of paper you want. - I don't give a shit.
那你得去一家派对便利店... Then you should probably go to a party store...
那儿有卖包装纸 where you can get gift-wrapping paper.
但那儿没有胶带和剪刀 But they don't have the tape and scissor.
我不知道 可能有吧 我不确定 要是我我就自己带工具 I don't know, they might, I wouldn't bet on it, I would bring my own.
我问你个问题啊 Let me ask you a question.
如果我把剪刀和胶带带着去你说的这个派对便利店... If I brought the scissor and the tape to this party store you're talking about...
他们又有包装纸的话... 他们能帮我把礼品包起来吗？ They have the paper. ...would they wrap it for me?
应该可以 说实话我也不知道 因为礼品都是我老婆在包 They might, honestly, I don't know, because my wife wraps everything.
不过如果你把东西带过去了... But if you bring it with you, if you have it there...
给他们点小费什么的 if you just tip them or something.
你知道怎么把礼品包起来吗？ How would you go about getting something like this gift-wrapped?
-去霍玛商店啥的吧 -就文具店嘛 - Just go to a Hallmark or something. - A stationery store.
那里有包装纸 但是没有剪刀和胶带 That's for the paper. They don't have the scissors and the tape.
译者os:不是说文具店有剪刀和胶带没有包装纸吗？怎么又反过来了？
-有啊 -他们有剪刀和胶带？ - They will. - They got scissors and tape?
-真的？ -丝带 蝴蝶结 卡片 都有 - Really? - Ribbon and bows and cards.
-他们那儿啥都有 -霍玛商店这些都有？ - They have everything there. - Hallmark has that whole thing there?
哪里能找到霍玛商店？ Where's the Hallmark?
不知道 I don't know.
-你得来修一下这个汽油泵 -好 - You gotta fix this pump over here. - Okay.
好吧 算了 我没事了 All right, forget it, I'm all done here.
结果你不知道哪儿有霍玛商店 You don't know where the Hallmark is.
如果你想的话 我们可以明天去工厂直销店 I thought maybe tomorrow, if you're up to it, we'd go to the outlet center.
-好 -嗨 看看谁来了 - All right. - Hi! Look who's here.
-你好 -嗨 - Hello. - Hi.
-嗨 -友善点 - Hi. - Be nice.
-嗨 -嗨 - Hi. - Hi.
生日快乐 Happy birthday.
你真贴心 That was sweet of you.
这算什么礼物？都没有包起来 What kind of present is that? Not wrapped nicely.
是 我很抱歉 Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
我找了很多地方 没有一家可以包礼品的 I looked in stores, I couldn't find any wrapping store.
这到处都没有包装礼品的商店了吗？ There's no wrapping stores anywhere?
我的天！ Oh, my gosh!
-太阳镜！ -你看这 - Sunglasses! - Look at those.
天呐 你看 My gosh, look at this!
伊丽莎白泰勒戴的墨镜 和这个一模一样！ Elizabeth Taylor wears glasses. She has the exact same glasses!
-听到了吗？ -我戴不了 - You hear that? - I can't use 'em.
我眼镜有度数 I have a prescription in my lenses.
-对不起了 -没事 我会... - I'm sorry. - All right, no, I'll get...
-交给我吧 -我想把这事做好了 我会把镜片放上去的 - I'll take care of it. - I want to do it. I'll get lenses put in.
把你的度数告诉我 我去把这个做成有度数的 Give me your prescription and we'll make them prescription glasses.
你说这多好 讣告怎么样啊？ Isn't that nice? How did the obit go?
-你有报纸吗？ -有 这儿呢 - You got a paper? - Yeah, it's over there.
讣告栏 在后面 Obituaries, it's in the back there.
这儿 我给你看看讣告怎么样啊 讣告这个样 Here, I'll show you how it went. Here's how it went.
"露易斯 霍宁 挚爱的姐妹 受爱戴的小婊"？ "Louise Hoenin, devoted sister, beloved cunt"?
什么？报纸上这么登的？给我看 What? It says that in the paper? Let me see this.
-不可思议！ -是啊！ - That's unbelievable! - I know!
你说的"小姨" 我写的"小姨" 这是个啥？ You said "aunt," I wrote down "aunt"! That's bullshit!
-报社没有校对的人吗？ -真是抱歉 - Don't they proofread these things? - I am so sorry.
这真的是 拉里 Oh, God, Larry.
-我需要你朋友写一封道歉信... -撤回申明 - I need a letter of apology from your friend... - Retraction.
他们怎么解释呢？ What are they gonna say?
"很抱歉叫她小婊，我们实际上想说'小姨'"？ "We're sorry we called her a cunt, we meant 'aunt"'?
我知道了 我会让他们写封道歉信的 Point well taken, I'll have them write a letter of apology.
-你也要写一封 -我也会写的 我保证 - And you, too. - I'll write one, too, I promise.
即使这样 这么登出来还是... 谢丽儿肯定气坏了 Still, to print this... Cheryl must be so upset.
她把我赶出来了 She kicked me out of the house.
她把你赶出来了？ She kicked you out?
她亲戚 她父母 朋友 都追着我像是要... Her relatives, her parents, friends, they came after me like a pack of...
-我以为他们要杀了我 -住这儿吧 - I thought they were gonna kill me. - You'll stay here.
-不行 我没带穿的衣服 -我这儿啥衣服都有 - I can't, I have nothing to wear. - I've got lots of stuff for you to wear!
你就住这儿了 爸妈反正也在这儿 You'll stay here. Mom and Dad are here anyway.
-没关系 我来准备一顿丰盛的晚餐 -真是抱歉 - It's no big deal, I'm making a great dinner. - I'm so sorry.
-你得给谢丽儿打个电话道个歉 -我会的 - You should call Cheryl and apologize. - I will.
帮我个忙 等我死了 换个人负责讣告 好吧？ Do me a favor. When I die, let someone else handle the obit, okay?
-晚饭还有多久？ -25分钟吧 最多半小时 - How much longer till dinner? - 25 minutes, 30, tops.
-爸 走 去把那个电影看完 -什么电影？ - Dad, let's go finish the movie, come on. - What movie?
拉里 再给我看看那个眼镜 Larry, let me see those glasses again.
-那个太阳镜 -哦 好 - Those sunglasses. - Okay, sure.
虽然戴上了看不太清 但我大概能看出个意思 I can't see through them, but I can get an idea.
好看着呢 伊丽莎白泰勒同款 不开玩笑 They're beauties. Elizabeth Taylor. It's no joke.
等下 这里有反光 我从这儿看 Wait a minute. I think I can see my reflection in here.
-等着 我给你举着你看 -好 - Wait, hold it, I'll help you out here. - Good.
那我就把度数给加上去 这事儿就算解决了 So I'll get the prescription for this thing. We'll get that taken care of.
要不了多久的 这太阳镜很好看 It shouldn't take too long, you know? They look good, though.
看吧 妈 我给你说了 他还是有很贴心的一面的 See, Mom, I told you, he's got a very, very sweet side.
那可不是 Very.
咋了？ Yeah?
-你得离开了 -啥？ - You gotta go. - What?
-你得走了 -你在说啥？ - You gotta go. - What are you talking about?
你占我妈便宜了 你得离开了 You copped a feel off my mom, you gotta go.
我占你妈便宜？你开什么玩笑呢？ I copped a feel off your mom? What are you saying to me?
她在那儿走来走去 我问她 "咋了？" She was moping around. I'm saying, "What's the matter?"
她说:"拉里碰了我的乳房好几秒。" She said, "Larry touched my bosom for several seconds."
我他妈 你给我听着！ Schmuck! Listen to me for a second!
咋！ What?
我们在厨房 她想再试试那个太阳镜 We're in the kitchen. She wanted to try on the sunglasses again.
她在面包机反光那里看 我给她举着面包机 She was looking in the toaster and I was holding the toaster...
她想凑近点看清楚些 she wanted to get a better look at her face in it...
然后就抵着我的手了 and she leaned against the back of my hand...
然后 我想着又不能直接转... and so, I didn't want to just turn...
我不想嗖地把手抽开 怕伤害到她感情 I didn't want to hurt her feelings by taking it away fast.
对不住了 I'm sorry.
她现在急得不行 She's all freaked out.
你得走了 You gotta go.
你要把我赶出去吗？ Are you kicking me out?
好吧 听着 你定个闹钟 你知道怎么定闹钟吗？ All right, look, set the alarm. Do you know how to set the alarm?
7点钟 7:00 a.m.
她自己往我手背上蹭的！ She rubbed up against the back of my hand!
-我相信你 和那无关 -你觉得我会揩老太太的油？ - I believe you, it's not about that! - You think I feel up old ladies?
我道歉 不过和那无关 不是那事儿的关系了 I apologized, it's not about that! It's not about that.
你必须早上七点离开这儿 You gotta get out of here at 7:00 in the morning.
我早上会走的 I'll be out of here early in the morning.
从厨房拿个面包就走吧 Grab a bagel from the kitchen and get out.
我不拿你面包 我径直出去 I won't grab anything, I'll just walk out.
你妈以为是我碰了她的乳房？过分了吧 Your mother thinks I touched her breast? That is so sick.
她要这么想 我能说什么？做个好梦 It's what she thinks, what can I say? Sweet dreams.
"做个好梦" "Sweet dreams."
梦里操您母亲行吗 "做个好梦" I'll dream about fucking your mother. "Sweet dreams."
-你！ -小声点 - You! - Quiet.
-你好大胆子 -我啥都没做啊 - How dare you. - I didn't do anything.
-你听我解释 -你觉得我很享受那种事吗？ - Let me explain what happened. - Do you think I enjoy that kind of thing?
-别开玩笑了 我啥都没做啊 -有完没完了啊 - Don't be ridiculous, I didn't do anything. - This has gotta stop.
-你给她说啊 我啥都没做 -妈 他啥都没做 - Please tell her I didn't do anything. - Ma, he didn't do anything.
是面包机和手 你蹭到了 It was the toaster and the hand. You rubbed against me.
你们要把萨米吵醒了 You're gonna wake up Sammy.
-你看到他做的事了吗？ -我给她解释了 那是个意外 - Did you see what he did? - I explained to her, it was an accident.
-那是个意外 -哦 多轻松的借口 - It was an accident. - How convenient.
那是个意外 你蹭到我手背了 It was an accident, you rubbed up against me.
你算个什么人？ What kind of human being are you?
就是 你蹭到我手了 我啥事儿都没做！ Yes, you pushed up against my hand! I didn't do anything!
-是个意外 -你得走了 - It was an accident. - You have to go.
我觉得最好这样 好吧 妈？他马上就走 I think it's better. Okay, Ma? He's gonna leave.
-去睡吧 -真是变态 - Go back to sleep. - Sick person.
够了 别说"变态"了 他不是变态 Enough with the "sick person," he's not a sick person.
真的抱歉 I'm really sorry.
真是糟糕 我很抱歉 请接受我的道歉 This is horrible, I'm so sorry. Please accept my apology.
-不是你的关系 -我明天会说清楚的 - It's not you. - I'll straighten it out tomorrow.
我爸妈有的时候就这样 They get a little crazy, my parents.
真是抱歉 整件事太糟糕了 I'm sorry. It's an awful thing.
即便是我约会 我都会等4个月... Even when I was dating, I would wait four months...
才敢考虑乳房的事 你知道吗？ before I would try and make a breast move, you know?
我知道了 I understand.
怎么可能在厨房 当着她媳妇和儿子的面 Not in their kitchen, in front of their daughter-in-law and son...
我知道 是很气人 我明天早上会给她说清楚的 I know, it's horrible. I'll smooth it all over tomorrow.
就当帮我个忙了 让我来解决太阳镜的事儿 Do me a favor. Let me take care of the sunglasses.
-太阳镜？ -给我吧 我来解决 - The sunglasses? - Give them to me, let me take care of them.
-你现在还让我给她这个礼物？ -你给她了啊 - You want me to give her a gift now? - You gave it to her.
-经历了这个有趣的夜晚之后？ -你给她了啊 - After this entertaining evening? - You gave it to her.
-我不这么认为 不 -你这叫"印第安人送礼" - I don't think so. No. - That's called "Indian giving."
Indian giving:送出礼物后又索回(原印第安部落习俗，后取贬义)
我知道这叫啥 I know what it's called.
这种叫法很种族歧视 不过你就这么叫吧 It's a very racist term, but I'm okay with that.
你拿着那个太阳镜干嘛？ What could you possibly do with them?
我送给喜欢我的人 I'll give them to somebody who likes me.
你现在去哪儿？ Where are you going now?
我不知道 我又不能回家 I don't know, I can't go home.
估计我只能去酒店了吧 Guess I'll go to a hotel.
好莱坞罗斯福酒店 有什么可以帮助您的？ Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel, how can I help you?
那晚上见 感谢来电 I'll see you this evening, thank you.
-欢迎 有什么可以帮助您的？ -我想订间房 - Welcome, how can I help you? - I'd like a room, please.
真是抱歉 我们今晚已经住满了 I'm very sorry, we're completely filled to capacity this evening.
好吧 Okay.
这家酒店住了个人 叫克雷格 巴特勒 There's a guy in this hotel, his name's Craig Butler.
他房间是我在付钱 我不想再出钱了 I'm paying for his room. I don't want to anymore.
把他叫起来 赶出去 那是我的房间 Wake him up, get him out, that's my room.
那间房到明天的钱已经付清了 今晚的钱已从银行卡取出 The room's paid for through tomorrow. The cards have been run for this evening.
他有权力待到明早11点 退房的时间 He's authorized to be there till 11:00 a.m. Tomorrow, check-out time.
我们的经理会和你算好账单的事 如果你明早10点再来的话 Our manager will work out the bill with you, if you come back tomorrow at 10:00.
今晚整个酒店给我一间房都不行？一间都没有了？ You don't have a room for me in this hotel tonight? Not one room?
你们不总是要留一些额外的房间吗？ Don't you always keep extra rooms for people?
一间都没有了 您不是我们拒绝的第一个顾客 Not one. You're not the first person we've turned away.
我要是小法兰克 辛纳屈 你也不让我今晚住这儿？ I'm Frank Sinatra, Jr., you're turning me away tonight?
小法兰克 辛纳屈：美国传奇歌手法兰克 辛纳屈之子
-他就这么走进来 然后你也拒绝他？ -是的 很不幸 不过就是这样 - Jr. Walks in and you turn him away? - Yes, sir, unfortunately.
教皇你们也直接赶出去？ The Pope is being shooed out into the street.
-你们连教皇也赶？ -是的 先生 - Are you going to shoo The Pope out? - Yes, sir.
我们已经住满了 先生 We are filled to capacity, sir.
-太阳眼镜 要吗？ -你说什么？ - A pair of sunglasses? - Excuse me?
我这儿有一副太阳眼镜 I have a pair of sunglasses here.
-你想把太阳镜给... -对 - You want to give... - Yeah.
-伊丽莎白泰勒同款 -的确很漂亮 不过... - Elizabeth Taylor sunglasses. - They're very nice...
伊丽莎白泰勒戴一模一样的 Elizabeth Taylor wears these sunglasses.
谢谢您 先生 不过我眼镜是有度数的 非常感谢您 Thank you, sir, I wear prescription. Thank you very much.
-你看过宋飞传吗？ -看过 先生 - You ever watch the Seinfeld show? - Yes, sir.
只是好奇一下 Just curious.
-嘿 拉里！ -哦 拉里 嗨！ - Hey, Larry! - Larry, hi!
-嗨 伙计 -这是拉里？ - Hi, buddy. - This is Larry?
感谢你在贝基面前出卖我 感激不尽啊 Thanks for ratting me out to Becky, really appreciated it.
我没有出卖你 I did not rat you out.
你把我们谈话的事全给她说了 我还让你别说的 You told her everything we talked about. And I told you not to say anything.
那是你的问题了 That's your problem.
-真混球 -我混球？是吗？ - What a jerk. - I'm a jerk? Is that right?
你要打我吗？ Are you going to beat me up?
-说不定 -来啊 动手啊 - Maybe I will. - Go ahead, take a shot.
你们这些好莱坞的人... You Hollywood people...
先生们 我不能让你俩在酒店大厅 Gentlemen, I cannot have the two of you standing in the lobby of the hotel...
对着吵起来 yelling at each other.
抱歉 不过你们是本酒店的客人吗？ Excuse me, are you guests at the hotel this evening?
-我是 -我能看下你的房卡吗？ - Yes, I am. - Can I see your room key, please?
-当然 -钱是我出的 - Yes, sure. - I'm paying for that.
稍等 一个一个来 Excuse me, one at a time.
您最好回到您的房间里 It would be best if you go back to your room.
很好 谢谢你 Very good, thank you very much.
他在这儿是因为我给他付的酒店钱 He's here because I'm paying for him.
先生 你有我们酒店的房卡吗？ Sir, do you have a room key here at the Roosevelt?
-没有 -那我需要请您离开了 - No. - Then I need to ask you to leave.
-我能送你一副太阳眼镜吗？ -不行 请离开 - Can I interest you in some sunglasses? - No, just leave, please.
英语字幕来源：www.tvsubtitles.net 字幕翻译与制作：610